[DeSwan]

ответили на форуме delphimaster.ru
написали довольно громоздко но главное

Код:

...
NumIcons :=ExtractIconEx('IcoFile',-1, nil, nil, 0);
...

Сначала в разделе interface пишем такой код: 

type ThIconArray = array[0..0] of hIcon;
type PhIconArray = ^ThIconArray;

function ExtractIconExA(lpszFile: PAnsiChar;
nIconIndex: Integer;
phiconLarge : PhIconArray;
phiconSmall: PhIconArray;
nIcons: UINT): UINT; stdcall;
external 'shell32.dll' name 'ExtractIconExA';

function ExtractIconExW(lpszFile: PWideChar;
nIconIndex: Integer;
phiconLarge: PhIconArray;
phiconSmall: PhIconArray;
nIcons: UINT): UINT; stdcall;
external 'shell32.dll' name 'ExtractIconExW';

function ExtractIconEx(lpszFile: PAnsiChar;
nIconIndex: Integer;
phiconLarge : PhIconArray;
phiconSmall: PhIconArray;
nIcons: UINT): UINT; stdcall;
external 'shell32.dll' name 'ExtractIconExA';



Затем по нажатию на кнопку: 

procedure TForm1.Button1Click(Sender: TObject);
var
NumIcons: integer;
pTheLargeIcons: phIconArray;
pTheSmallIcons: phIconArray;
LargeIconWidth: integer;
SmallIconWidth: integer;
SmallIconHeight: integer;
i: integer;
TheIcon: TIcon;
TheBitmap: TBitmap;
begin
NumIcons :=
ExtractIconEx('C:\Program Files\Borland\Delphi 3\BIN\delphi32.exe',
-1, nil, nil, 0);
if NumIcons > 0 then
begin
LargeIconWidth := GetSystemMetrics(SM_CXICON);
SmallIconWidth := GetSystemMetrics(SM_CXSMICON);
SmallIconHeight := GetSystemMetrics(SM_CYSMICON);
GetMem(pTheLargeIcons, NumIcons * sizeof(hIcon));
GetMem(pTheSmallIcons, NumIcons * sizeof(hIcon));
FillChar(pTheLargeIcons^, NumIcons * sizeof(hIcon), #0);
FillChar(pTheSmallIcons^, NumIcons * sizeof(hIcon), #0);
ExtractIconEx('C:\Program Files\Borland\Delphi 3\BIN\delphi32.exe',
0, pTheLargeIcons, pTheSmallIcons, numIcons);
{$IFOPT R+}
{$DEFINE CKRANGE}
{$R-}
{$ENDIF}
for i := 0 to (NumIcons - 1) do
begin
DrawIcon(Form1.Canvas.Handle, i * LargeIconWidth, 0, pTheLargeIcons^[i]);
TheIcon := TIcon. Create;
TheBitmap := TBitmap.Create;
TheIcon.Handle := pTheSmallIcons^[i];
TheBitmap.Width := TheIcon.Width;
TheBitmap.Height := TheIcon.Height;
TheBitmap.Canvas.Draw(0, 0, TheIcon);
TheIcon.Free;
Form1.Canvas.StretchDraw(Rect(i * SmallIconWidth,
100, (i + 1) * SmallIconWidth, 100 + SmallIconHeight), TheBitmap);
TheBitmap.Free;
end;
{$IFDEF CKRANGE}
{$UNDEF CKRANGE}
{$R+}
{$ENDIF}
FreeMem(pTheLargeIcons, NumIcons * sizeof(hIcon));
FreeMem(pTheSmallIcons, NumIcons * sizeof(hIcon));
end;
end;

всех благодарю за советы
особая благодарность X-rem